i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Randomize
