went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I cut my penus on the lid.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize