Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
