AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
