K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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