before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
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