Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Edward fifth and chaser hands
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
