my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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