I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
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