What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
