There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize