So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
We just shotgunned beers for America
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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