You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
