man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
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I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
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You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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