I'm laying in your front yard are you home
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
