Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
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It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
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We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
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