Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
