i permit you to call me
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize
