Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
