Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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