some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
