Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
