After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
