I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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