My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
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