I hate your face
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I would ride that face into the sunset
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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