wake up i wanna do it froggy style
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
