Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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