Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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