Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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