Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Randomize