So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Randomize