Swine flu. Run for my life!
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
