Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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