Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
