Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Randomize
