Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
