I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
