My first STD was from a foam party
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
