I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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