my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
