I can tuck mytits in my pants
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
You can't just leave with hair like that
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
