can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
