I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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