he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize