It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
