just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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