Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
