those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
We left an ass print on the piano.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
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