OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
