he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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