i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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