I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
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