did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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