I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
