I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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