Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
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