Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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