Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Randomize
