Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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