I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
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