I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
She needs sedatives and a leash
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
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