Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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