thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I came so hard my ears popped.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
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